Guide to Living the High Life, featuring Bay Scallops
by Dora
Today's post will feature an incredibly simple and affordable, 5 minute recipe that will guarantee to transform your soon-to-expire $5 bag of frozen Bay scallops into a Michelin star-worthy meal.
Ingredients
Bay scallops, a handful
Wheat bread, 1 slice
Salt, to taste
Garlic, thinly sliced
Oil, for cooking
Optional: lemon juice, for that extra fancy feeling
1. Oil a pan over med-high heat.
2. When the oil is very hot, throw a handful of scallops in. Let the scallops sit there. Relish in that sizzle.
3. After a minute, toss in the garlic. Stir the scallops and the garlic together until the scallops are less transparent.
4. After the scallops begin to turn opaque, take the pan off the heat. Stir in the seasonings (salt, pepper, whatever) and a spoonful of lemon juice. You won't be able to taste the lemon juice, but you'll know it's there. And hey, that knowledge should make you feel extra fancy.
5. When the scallops are ready, pour them dramatically out of the pan and onto a non-paper plate, making sure that some fall off of the toast, to the side of the toast, around the toast, but mostly on the toast. Smother the toast just enough to ensure that no one can tell that the toast underneath is actually just a piece of toast.
6. Re-position any scallops on the toast and/or plate, if necessary, to maximize the aesthetic.
7. Stand back and admire your hard work.
8. Pull out your phone and Instagram your masterpiece. Keep rotating your phone until you have found the best perspective that embodies the perfect visual ratio of scallop-toast-plate-table (4:1:2:3). If necessary, filter.
9. When you have finally finished Snapchatting photos to your friends and colleagues, and your scallops and toast have turned cold, eat.
Enjoy!
Additional recommendations:
by Dora
Today's post will feature an incredibly simple and affordable, 5 minute recipe that will guarantee to transform your soon-to-expire $5 bag of frozen Bay scallops into a Michelin star-worthy meal.
Ingredients
Bay scallops, a handful
Wheat bread, 1 slice
Salt, to taste
Garlic, thinly sliced
Oil, for cooking
Optional: lemon juice, for that extra fancy feeling
1. Oil a pan over med-high heat.
2. When the oil is very hot, throw a handful of scallops in. Let the scallops sit there. Relish in that sizzle.
3. After a minute, toss in the garlic. Stir the scallops and the garlic together until the scallops are less transparent.
4. After the scallops begin to turn opaque, take the pan off the heat. Stir in the seasonings (salt, pepper, whatever) and a spoonful of lemon juice. You won't be able to taste the lemon juice, but you'll know it's there. And hey, that knowledge should make you feel extra fancy.
5. When the scallops are ready, pour them dramatically out of the pan and onto a non-paper plate, making sure that some fall off of the toast, to the side of the toast, around the toast, but mostly on the toast. Smother the toast just enough to ensure that no one can tell that the toast underneath is actually just a piece of toast.
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| Faux-tography Tip: "The Corner Close-up" is one of my favorite methods for capturing food in the most appealing way. Just point your camera at a random corner of your subject, zoom-in real close and snap! It's as easy as that. For the best "scallop on toast" photo, I recommend trying for a 5:4:1 ratio of scallop:plate:toast. |
7. Stand back and admire your hard work.
8. Pull out your phone and Instagram your masterpiece. Keep rotating your phone until you have found the best perspective that embodies the perfect visual ratio of scallop-toast-plate-table (4:1:2:3). If necessary, filter.
9. When you have finally finished Snapchatting photos to your friends and colleagues, and your scallops and toast have turned cold, eat.
Enjoy!
Additional recommendations:
- Substitute or add the following ingredients for increased feelings of self-satisfaction : extra virgin olive oil, anything with "French" in its name, a sprig of mint
Such funny. Very troll. Wow.
ReplyDeleteBut actually, your scallops smelled delicious.
Teehee. Much appreciation. Thanks. :) <3
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