world's best truffles (april fools)

Have you ever been pranked on April Fool's Day? Even though it's supposed to be the day for pranking, so far - and much to my inner child's chagrin - I have not been the subject of any pranks. Considering how I love messing with people on a regular basis, I'm surprised no one ever has retaliated. People are too kind to me.

Well, this year's April 1st was set to pass no differently than others - quietly and uneventfully. I couldn't let a golden opportunity slide by like this, though. Thankfully, it was a Wednesday, which is my least busy day of the week, so I was able to spend the afternoon orchestrating my master plan, melting chocolate to make some delicious*, festive truffles.

Sweet deception...

*deliciousness is highly subjective

Yup. It's a brussel sprout. America's favorite vegetable.

Step 1: Steam frozen brussel sprouts, and pat them dry.
Step 2: Melt your chocolate (I used generic chocolate chips.) Cue slow groovy music.

Step 3: Smother the brussel sprout in melted chocolate until there's not a wee green leaf in sight.

Step 4: Let the truffles set in the fridge. Clean excess edges with a knife if you have to. When ready. serve to your unsuspecting loved ones and watch their excited faces transform into grimaces of confusion as they bite into the healthiest chocolate truffle, ever.

Everyone knows Judy can never turn down chocolate.
That's why she made the perfect first victim.

My victims' friends' reactions ranged from disgust and spittakes to nonchalance and even exclamations that, "It isn't that bad!" I unknowingly served Maryanne her first brussel sprout. Hey, how many people in the world can say their first brussel sprout was covered in chocolate? Probably just one.

But wait - it doesn't end here. Because once you've lost your friends' trust, you need to regain it  lose it, permanently. And this is how: Round 2: Chocolate "Roulette".

Sriracha surprise.

(top row, left to right) Lemon curd, Rice krispies, Lime curd, Almond

(middle row, left to right) Peanut butter, Rice krispies, Cap'n Crunch, Peanut butter

(bottom row, left to right) Lime curd, Oyster sauce, Sriracha, Garlic puree

Tip: Don't forget to tap the air bubbles out of your chocolate molds...

Lime curd. Nom nom.

My friend Betty kindly informed me that "There's like an evil inside of you. There's like...a darkness." My father called it the healthiest prank, ever. Plus, everything tastes better covered with chocolate, right? So says my friend Joy, who got really lucky with the garlic puree-filled chocolate. (I mean, it was totally random that she ended up with the garlic chocolate. Totally. I swear.)

All in all, it was a pretty fun April Fools. I succeeded in losing any trust my friends had in me, but at least I have the next 364 days to gain it back.